Shoe Ads Can Be Very Decieving
by FawnBirdie
Summary: They really are. And one young person is going to find out what really happens in a self-insert story. Things are about to get weird. *cover and summary changed*
1. Chapter 1

**Woo~ So this here fiction was just a random burst of inspiration on my part. So don't think too much of it~ It's basically just a parodyish/seriousish self-insert thingy cause why not. And it's nothing like my other one if anyone remembers that~ Be warned though, this is just on a random whim, so I may never finish and chapters will probably be short (unless you all are kind enough to drop off an encouraging review or two. Or three. Three would be nice). Plus, I'm going to be evil and never tell you the main characters name, and only give the bare bones of the physical description.**

**Disclaimer- I am not owner of any canon material!**

* * *

I opened the door to great wide world, the ocean right in front of me. I couldn't smell it though, my sense of smell is crap, plus I had a stuffy nose. I sucked in air through said stuffy nose, causing all mucus and other such nonsense within to rush back up into my sinuses, causing momentary relief. But sadly, the action triggered one of those abnormal coughy-sneeze things.

I sat down on my sandy porch. My summer house was rather spiffy, if I do say so. My parents bought it before I was born, and now it was mine. For the day at least, my dear parents were off doing parentish stuff.

I sneezed, then went back inside. I seemed to be coming down with a cold, if you hadn't noticed already. The fresh air was supposed to help, but it hadn't. I decided to snuggle up in some blankets up in my room, so I would be warm and uncold. So snuggle up in some blankets I did.

I looked around for my iPad, I had probably misplaced it again, like always. As I gazed around the room from within my blanket-cocoon, my eyes fell upon my emergency fall-into-a-fictional-world kit. It had always been my greatest ambition to do this very thing, so of course I was prepared. But enough with that, my iPad was calling me. After much looking around in vain, I finally saw it sitting right beside my bed, charging. Who would've thought? I picked the device up, the faux-leather case room-temperature under my fingertips. I averted my face to let out another sneeze, then flipped open the cover, typed in my passcode, and got comfy.

An hour later, I finished the eBook I had been reading. I had started this particular novel a few days before, so I had been pretty far in already. I shut off the device momentarily, looked around, turned it back on, and then proceeded to peruse the interwebs. A tasty looking fanfic caught my eye. "The Magical Self Insert" was the title. I opened it up and began reading (the summary).

_I was just a normal girl and stuff, until I fell into a fictional world. Then all my powers suddenly activated, and my hair turned pink and green and rainbow. Then the main character fell in love with me. But there is a mystical twist to all this clicheness… (TRUE STORY)_

I read through the first chapter of the fiction, which was currently the only chapter available. At the bottom, an author's note stared up at me.

_**HEY!3! SO WAT DID U ALL THNK OF MY FIC!1!1121!1 Just kidding XD Seriously though? This is a true story, no lie. I actually got sent to a fictional world. You know that ad on the bottom of the page? Click on that and you may get a special surprise ;)**_

I stared at the ad. It was nothing unusual, just some shoe advertisement. A lame looking shoe advertisement at that. The author person must be endorsed by the shoe company or something. But it looked tempting, no harm in trying it out. Except for the possible chance of viruses being downloaded onto my iPad. That wouldn't bode well with my dear parents. But oh well~

I collected my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit and checked to make sure everything was still there [just in case the ad-thingy actually worked (If sending you to a fictional world was the surprise in the first place, maybe it was a cat video or something)]. It was a rather large knapsack I had bought for two bucks at a garage sail. I had taped a paper sign to the front with the previously mentioned title of the kit, and it had some shmancy pencil décor scribbled on. Inside the medium pocket of the knapsack was a slightly-used build-your-own-power-source set, a small internet router, an old walkie-talkie, a plastic radio, and a worn survival handbook, all from the same garage sale. The five or so small pockets contained a variety of survival materials, from a hand ax to a compass, a Swiss army knife to a magnifying glass. Don't ask how I came about some of these things. Just know that I have read a few surviving-on-a-deserted-island-books, and know a few people (*coughparentscoughactuallycoughingnowcough*). The largest pocket was the most important. This was where I kept most of my summer books and manga, as well as a couple bits of merchandise, clothing, chargers, a laptop, and other necessities (the fall-into-a-fictional-world kit also doubled as my luggage for the sake of people thinking I was normal). Every pocket had a few snacks hidden away, in case I got hungry in my descent to a fictional world. I zipped it all back up, sure in my knowledge that I had everything that all other self-inserts always forgot to bring for some reason.

I sucked in my breath, inching my finger closer and closer to the shoe ad, the fall-into-a-fictional-world kit clutched firmly in my other hand. Even though it was highly unlikely to work, there was no shame in being dramatic.

My finger connected to the screen. I sneezed loudly, and reopened my eyes to a swirly screen, the shoe in the ad smack dab in the middle. "SURPRISE! YOU WIN!" read the screen in bold flashing letters. It didn't work…? Phooey. I closed the tab and touched the home button. To my utter sadness, notifications informing me of a virus attack popped up. More phooey.

I sneezed again, then felt my eyes drooping. Within a few minutes, I was asleep. I didn't notice the crawling sensation on my forehead…

* * *

_**HEY!3! SO WAT DID U ALL THNK OF MY FIC!1!1121!1 Just kidding XD Seriously though? This is a true story, no lie. I actually got sent to a fictional world. You know that ad on the bottom of the page? Click on that and you may get a special surprise ;)**_

**Heh. Just kidding, again~ But who knows...? *poofs away* **_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Gahh! Sorry for not updating for so long! I promise to update more frequently (unless I forget~). Also, the chapters will probably not get any longer than this, as I write this in my spare time, and I don't really like writing SUUPPAHH long chapters (see what I did there? XD). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece~**

* * *

I didn't notice the crawling sensation on my forehead until I woke up an hour later. What did you think, that it was night time? And I was going to end up in a fictional world in my dreams? No, I was only taking a midday nap. But any who, the crawling was more like a drilling now, and it _really_ hurt. I smacked my forehead. That did not help.

I touched the spot that was killing my forehead, and winced. But I did feel a small hole in my head, as well as something cold and metalish. Whatever it was, it hurt like something that hurt a lot. I scratched at it, but all that did was make it worse. I then proceeded to poke it. I just couldn't leave the freaking hole alone (it's in my genes, dun kill me). To my surprise, a hologram projection appeared in front of my field of vision.

"_HIYA! This is the virus you downloaded~ I'm a magical virus though! So don't worry~ Plus I'm going after I deliver this message, but I may leave a few *ahem* gifts."_

I narrowed my eyes. Maybe I was in a fictional world after all, and my whole summerhouse had been transported with me.

"_Listen please~ So, you're not in a fictional world, but you will be soon! I will be choosing randomly from the preassigned roster. Don't worry, the world is one you're familiar with~ OH YEAH! Make sure you don't eat any moose droppings there, and you'll be just fine~"_

Who could have known that a virus would be helpful! I now knew not to eat moose droppings! Wait, what? Oh well.

"_I'm self-destructing now, ta-ta~"_

"That was your message…? Really…?" My eyes widened as I assessed the enormity of this situation. If the projection shooting out of my forehead was to be believed, then that would mean my forehead was self-destructing now! I clung onto my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit and iPad and hoped for the best. I shut my eyes. I heard the explosion (it was an obnoxiously loud explosion), and suddenly all the pain was gone. _Am I dead?_

_NOPE._

_Okay then…?_ I thought, not really sure who said that. I opened my eyes and rubbed my forehead. I could feel the hole, as well as the metal thing. At least it didn't hurt anymore. I then proceeded to sneeze, and then I looked around again, surprised to be in the middle of some random (and 2d, anime-style) village. Of course, I was still on my bed, and was still clutching my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit and iPad. There also seemed to be a bunch of anime people staring at me, like I was some weirdo. Well then again, I probably was to these people, seeing how I was sitting in a _freaking bed_ in the middle of a _freaking village._ I hid under my covers, and sneezed again.

* * *

"Oi! Kid! Watcha' doin' loiterin' aroun' in the mi'le of mah' village!?" said a terrifying voice outside my bed sheets.

"Don't e-eat me…" I stuttered, still not coming out. Who knew that a fictional world could be this scary?

"Waz'?" said the voice. It was quite deep, with a very obvious accent.

I chose not to say anything. Well, not really, I was pretty sure I had gone into shock (I think). But that didn't stop me from sneezing.

"Oi, don't s'eese in f'onth of meh'! I'm takin' ya in!" boomed the voice.

Xir Voice ripped off the covers. It turned out to be an extremely muscular, fat-lipped female, who apparently had an ambiguously gendered voice. And was also anime-styled.

"Yo' loo' funny." She said. "All' squishy-like'. Lika' ya' bed thingy" she said, scratching her muscly chin. "Now', yo' unda' arrest!"

My eyes widened. I had come out of my supposed shock, but I was heckie close to going back in.

"Com' wid' me'" she said, ignoring me. I prepared for her to grab my wrists, but it was not to be, she just lifted up my bed and carried it over her head. I shivered. That lady was too freakishly strong.

* * *

I was now in an interrogation room, still in my bed, wrapped in blankets, and clutching my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit and iPad. A thin, extremely pointy-chinned male with a pointy head and a pointy mustache looked at me from behind a desk. He was also anime-styled. The muscular lady was standing guard by the door. I shivered again, and let out a sneeze.

"Who are you?" asked the man in a thin, pointy-sounding voice. Everything about the guy was freaking pointy!

"U-uh, no?" I said nervously.

"Well then No, why do you appear so strange looking? The shadows on your face… they look abnormally soft and natural! You look too squishy… and too detailed… there are too many colors on you!"

"I uhhh, no?"

"Why did appear on your bed randomly in the middle of the village?"

"…Uh… no…?" I rubbed my head.

With that gesture, a hologram projected out from my forehead. "What the heckie-doodle!" I said, shocked a bit. That should have been done with, yes?

"Ahh, thank you, I had no idea what you were saying. That thing in front of your face helped a lot." Said the pointy man, relieved. I must have been really stuttering. I looked up at the screen in front of my face. A strange language I had never seen before was written upon it.

"You are dismissed! Take the squishy one to the docks!" The pointy man gestured toward my bed, while looking at the muscle lady. She nodded and picked my bed up, carrying me away. I sneezed.

We arrived at the docks soon enough, and I was shocked to see that I was being lowered down onto a random boat.

I flailed, attempting to jump off my bed. It didn't work. The muscle woman karate chopped the rope holding the boat in place, then pushed me off. I stared in shock, and then sneezed. What the heckie doodle did that hologram say?!

* * *

**This story will only get weirder.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't know what to put here, so have a disclaimer: One Piece is obviously not mine~**

* * *

After sailing through the ocean for a few days (not fun), I came across an island. A bright flashy sign was staked on the beach, saying "Welcome to Self-Insert Island!" in bold letters. The phrase seemed to be written in a variety of recognizable earth languages, as well as the strange one the hologram. I scratched my head. _Maybe I'll find out which fictional world I'm in! _I thought. I had a few ideas already, but nothing specific yet. But it was definitely an anime, from the parts of the world I had seen already.

I thought about everything after being pushed off from the village, and my initial panic attack. It seemed that I had retained my original earth-body, while everyone else was anime-style. It was all quite strange to me honestly. Wasn't one supposed to look like the characters when they fell into their world?

I also wondered about the hologram that had projected from my forehead. Now that was just strange! And what did it even say? The language on it resembled a cross between Japanese and English when I had thought about it, but it was still very illegible to me.

I sneezed, and was jolted back into fictional reality, my hands flailing. An anime lady with an abnormally voluptuous figure and pink hair was looking at me like I was some kind of idiot. I probably did look like one, considering how I was just staring into space a moment before. I calmed down, then proceeded to look down. The lady sighed and walked up to me.

"Hey kid, you're probably shocked that you're not home anymore, right?" her voice sounded distinctly American, unlike the others I had met. I shook my head.

"Wait, you're not shocked? Huh?" she said scratching her head.

"No… I-I've been preparing for something l-like this for quite a w-while." I said quietly.

"Well that makes it easy! Just come with me!" I was about to get off my bed, but before I could move, the lady had picked it up and was carrying it over her shoulder. Honestly, again? I haven't even gotten off my bed yet!

She carried my bed and I along a path to an open clearing with a few buildings and a flashy stage. A few anime-style people were milling about, mostly female. But to my surprise, there were two normal looking people, sitting next to a building with a sign that read "Newcomers!*~*" with much fancy lettering and in multiple languages. The anime-lady carried me over there, and placed my bed beside them.

"'Sup." Said one of the normal people, a girl with short blonde hair, hazel eyes, and an abnormally voluptuous figure. She looked about 20. The other one just looked at me funny. It was another girl, around 19ish, who had bright red hair, blue eyes, and many freckles. She was also wearing a white backpack.

I waved nervously, then snuggled deeper into my blankets. I let out a rather loud sneeze. It ruffled my already ruffled hair.

"What's that bag you got there?" asked the red-haired girl.

"Uhh… nothing…" it wasn't like I was embarrassed or anything! I just didn't really want them to steal my supplies! "What are we doing h-here?"

The blonde answered that question. "We're not really sure, but one of the inhabitants said that we were going to be initiated or something."

I nodded. The red-head was still eyeing my fall-into-a-fiction-world kit, so I hid it under some blankets.

We began waiting. Surprisingly, none of them asked why I was in my bed, or why I had a metal thing in my forehead. As far as I could see, neither of them had one on her forehead, but the red-head had a metal thing on her elbow, and the blonde had a metal thing on her knee. I sneezed again after this observation.

Half an hour later, another normal person came to join us. She was a freakishly well-endowed girl of around 17, who had pitch black hair and deathly pale skin, as well as a mole under her eye. She greeted us coldly after the anime-lady sat her down. Another half hour passed, and one of the rare men of the town invited us in. For some reason, my bed and I were carried inside, despite my attempts to walk in.

"Now, welcome, welcome! Now, this is the wonderful Self-Insert Island!" the anime-man said, in plain English, though he had a rather strange verbal tic. The man had light brown skin and dark hair. "Now, here you will be initiated into our sacred society, then sent off on your respective adventures!"

"Wait, which world are we even in?" asked the red-head.

"Now, no one told you? Now, this is the world of One Piece! Now, we are currently in the Grand Line!"

My eyes sparkled at that, One Piece was one of my absolute favorites! Though the actual world seemed rather scary… Then I sneezed.

"Now, any who," the man continued, "You will be turned into anime characters here. The language of this world, Grandlinese, will be scanned into your brain, so you may communicate with the locals. You will then receive a Devil Fruit. After that, you will draw lots to see which crew you will be sent to! "

My jaw hung agape, as well as the red-head's. The blonde looked kind of disgusted, and the black-haired girl appeared emotionless. The man smiled, and led us through a door in the back of the main room. As I had come to expect, my bed was carried in, with me still wrapped up on top. I coughed this time.

* * *

**Something has officially happened! I think~ Sooo... yeah.**


	4. Chapter 4

We all entered the room. It was filled with various bits of machinery, as well as quite a few boxes, cardboard or otherwise. My bed and I were set down in front of one of the boxes, a rather tall wooden one. It actually resembled a podium now that I looked at it more. The man walked over to stand behind it.

"Now, don't mind the mess in here, our last set of self-inserts were quite rowdy. Now, I have some informational pamphlets here for your convenience. Now, they will tell you everything you need to know about your stay here on the wonderful Self-Insert Island!" He paused his speech for a moment. "Now, I'm passing them out now!" He didn't actually pass them out, he threw them at us instead. I didn't catch mine, neither did the blonde. The other two did though. I scrambled for mine, which was right next to me. But I only figured that out a while later.

The pamphlet was a nice shade of pink, with images of various pirate ships in a collage. The title was "Self-Insert Company: One Piece Branch". I opened it, and commenced reading the fancy text.

"_Long ago, the original self-inserts, Raven Star Celeste Diana Robinson Heart Bea'uty Neko, Mary Sue, and Caramolee Shininglight decided to create a place where others of their kind could be initiated into fictional worlds in peace. With the combined strength of their wills and powers, the three gorgeous women brought forth the first branch of the Self-Insert Company. This branch was located at the converging point of the many thousands of fictional worlds. This effort killed all but one of them, Caramolee. The two that gave up their lives for the sake of others were celebrated as heroes for the rest of eternity. _

_Caramolee led this first branch extremely well. So well, that it was soon overcrowded by millions of self-inserts. This overload of people caused all the portals to malfunction, cutting off all new self-inserts from their desired fictional adventures. This was a dark time for everyone, as it lasted almost an entire week. To end the horror, Caramolee used her magic powers to cut the first branch into infinite pieces, sending them all over the multiverse. Each piece eventually became the many branches of the Self-Insert Company that we see today. Caramolee now resides in the last piece of the original branch left in the Convergence, immortal because of her sacrifice and beauty._

_Today, as you read this pamphlet, you are carrying on the will of the three originals, and countless other self-inserts. We know that you will do great things for this cause. Turn the page for information on your specific branch."_

I raised my eyebrow after reading all this. It was quite interesting to know, but not that useful. I turned the page, and resumed reading.

"_The One Piece branch of the Self-Insert Company manifests itself as an island on the Grand Line. There are many wonders here, like pirates and Devil Fruits. Though this world is run by lawlessness, there are still a few rules every self-insert must follow:_

_No breaking the fourth wall_

_No mentioning the Self-Insert Company or any of its affiliates_

_No talking about future events_

_No eating moose droppings"_

I read these rules over a few times, sneezing between each reading. The first three seemed reasonable enough, but again with the moose droppings? Who would eat those anyway?

"_Failure to comply with these rules will make something bad happen, so follow them!"_

Okay…?

"_Procedures upon arriving upon this island:  
_

_You will be welcomed by one of our senior self-insert staff_

_You will be given this pamphlet_

_You will be taken to the preparation room to be given all resources pertaining to your health and safety while travelling with us_

_You will be assigned a crew to travel with and sent to the meeting spot via teleporter"_

I knew pretty much all of that except for the teleporter part. But I guess that was how all self-inserts get where they need to go. That pretty much concluded everything useful in the pamphlet. The rest was terms and conditions. I then sneezed.

The others had also finished reading by then.

"Those terms and conditions were really boring!" said the red-head. Wait, she read all that already?

The black-haired girl nodded curtly in agreement. She read them too? Huh?

The man clapped his hands. "Now, to the preparations room!"

The person who had carried my bed into the room picked it up again and carried it to the preparations room. This room was actually very orderly, with large machines along the walls and a small table at the end. The table had some high-tech looking box on top of it.

The man gestured for us to stop, then walked over to the table. "Now, this box is one of the most high-tech items on this planet. Now, it enables us to download everything you need to know for your adventure into your mind. Now, who's first!"

Without allowing us to volunteer, he told the blonde to put the box on her head. She shrugged, and put it on. I saw her shiver, then she took it off. Something looked strange about her, kinda like she had seen the Truth or something.

The red-head went after her, returning with the same look. I went next.

I put the box over my head, it felt really weird, almost like there was a fuzzy octopus tickling you inside. I felt the feeling go straight through my nostrils, and out through my ears. A string of images and words went through my head. It almost overwhelmed me, but not quite. I felt a few years older after going through that. No wonder the two who went before me looked so weird.

The man took the box from my shaky hands, and tapped a few buttons. But instead of handing it to the black-haired girl, he handed it to my bed.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked shakily. I couldn't think that well after that whole ordeal.

"Now, giving your bed the information it needs of course!" I stared at him blankly, not really comprehending. "Now, you didn't know that beds are sentient on the Grand Line?" I stared. "Now, Robin taught me to read Poneglyphs on my journey, and I saw it on one:

_The sleeping spots from the land of our great creator are given minds of their own for their diligence._

Now, that's what it said!" I stared again.

By then, my apparently sentient bed had finished. It didn't look any different though. Maybe beds were made of tougher stuff than mere humans.

* * *

**Much weirdness, yes? But on a more important note, everyone is getting their Devil Fruits next chapter! But I can't decide which one to give the main character! I have a few in mind, they are listed below. Leave a review/PM about which one you would like to see, or if you have a good idea that's not on the list, feel free to elaborate, 'kay? **

**Choices (In English, because why not?):**

**Bug-Bug Fruit, Model: Den Den Mushi (Zoan: User turns into a regular Den-Den Mushi, and has the abilities of one) **

**Water-Water Fruit (Logia: User can turn into water as well as create unlimited amounts of it. Standard Devil Fruit weaknesses still apply)**

**Color-Color Fruit (Paramecia or Logia: User can create and manipulate rainbows)**

**Fish-Fish Fruit, Model: Mudskipper/Flying Fish/Blob Fish (Zoan: User can turn into a fish. Standard Devil Fruit weaknesses still apply)**

**Lizard-Lizard Fruit, Model: Iguana (Zoan: User can turn into an iguana)**

**Note: I have some entertaining ideas for the ones that would _seem_ overpowered... (Let's just say the sea devil has a sense of humor.)**

**Edit: Just added another fruit as well as descriptions.**


	5. Chapter 5

After all that was done and over with, the now man was going to have us draw lots to see who would get to go where. Bed and I were partners, so we had to go together. Everyone else got to go on their own. There were about five options: Straw Hats, Heart Pirates, Whitebeard Pirates, Marines, and DIY crew.

While I was sneezing and spacing out thinking about this stuff, the red-head, the blonde, and the black-haired girl had gone on. I was jolted back into reality by Now Man, who held out a cup with two scraps of folded paper inside. No one had been allowed to look at their scraps until everyone had gone, so I had no clue what was in there. I reached in with a shaky hand, and pulled out a scrap.

"Now, you may look at your scraps!" announced Now Man.

I unfolded the scrap and saw a few words in messy hand-writing. One of the words was 'now'. I squinted, attempting to read what else was on it. When I finally deciphered the garbled writing, my eyes widened in happiness and shock. "StR AW Hat s"

All the others had various expressions on their faces, ranging from smugness to wild fangirling. Now Man clapped his hands, and walked over to me.

"Now, show your bed, it deserves to know where it's going too, right?" he said, smiling politely.

"C-can beds see?" I asked, still giddy.

"Now, beds see all! Now, they can see your hopes, dreams, secrets, souls, desires! Now, EVERYTHING!" he yelled, so loudly and suddenly, that he managed to spook the red-head.

"B-but, can they see scraps of paper?"

Now Man had disappeared, reappearing next to the black-haired girl. I furrowed my eyebrows, then placed my scrap face down on Bed. Bed didn't react. I scratched my head. Maybe my bed didn't like the Straw Hats?

After ten minutes, Now Man went back over to the podium box. He clapped his hands to get our attention.

"Now, it is time to receive your Devil Fruit! Now, but first, I will read off who goes with who." Now Man pointed at the black-haired girl. "Now, she gets to make her own crew, DIY!" he pointed to the red-head, "Now, she is with the Heart Pirates!" My bed and I, "Now, they are with the Straw Hat Pirates!" the blonde, "Now, she is with the Whitebeard Pirates! Now, you will all be sent to different points in the timeline, as to not meet each other and break the fourth wall."

I sneezed loudly after that tirade. I sniffled, then tried to look alert again. I'm not sure if it worked.

"Now, your Devil Fruits!" said Now Man. He clapped his hands and an anime woman with curly brown hair and huge amber eyes walked in. She was carrying a large, heavy-looking box with little effort. She set down the box in front of us, and walked out.

"Now, take your pick!"

I reached over to get one. My bed was close enough to the box, so I didn't bother stepping off. It was filled with anime-styled fruit. I wondered what those would feel like when I ate them. I ended up grabbing a yellow apricot covered in scale-like swirls. They almost looked like the scales of a mighty, swirly yellow dragon. I smiled, because I really liked dragons. Maybe this was a mythical Zoan type for turning into a dragon! I really did hope so.

"Now, pick one for your bed too!" said Now Man.

"H-how would it eat it?" I asked, shaky from the possibility of turning into a dragon.

The man walked away before answering my question, again. I shrugged, then looked towards the box. There had been 12 fruits in there before, and now there were only seven. Each of the other girls only had one fruit in their hands. The bent over the side of my bed. The comforter had moved a bit, and there was a small red stain on the mattress. I guessed it had already eaten a fruit. How, I did not know.

"Now, eat your fruits! Now, don't use them yet, we don't want any of our expensive machines being destroyed. Now, use them when you get to the outside world!" Now Man instructed.

I obliged, taking a bite from the yellow fruit. It tasted disgusting, like road-kill covered in a layer of mashed mouse-droppings and gasoline. Don't ask how I knew that. I swallowed it down with much effort. I knew that only one bite gives you the power, so I didn't bother eating the rest. Then my stomach started feeling all bubbly and my throat itched, like I was about the vomit. My cheeks puffed up, and a wave of nausea came over me. It sure didn't help that I was already sick. With that thought, a stream of bile exited my mouth, squirting all over the floor, in a steamy yellow-green puddle. Yum.

I felt super bad after that, so I laid down on my bed and curled up into a ball. I clutched my fall-into-fictional-world kit and iPad tightly, which made me feel a bit better. I could hear everyone else in the room saying "eww" and "groossss". That did not help at all. A woman in a nurse's outfit was rushed in, and she handed me a pill. I swallowed it without question, and it made me feel much better. I sat up again. All the other girls had moved away from me, and Now Man was cowering behind his podium.

I hung my head in shame. I was pretty sure no one else had ever had that reaction to eating a Devil Fruit. But then again, no one had a cold while eating a Devil Fruit. I only hoped that the power still worked.

"Now, uhhhh, ewww, let's get back to business!" said Now Man, still disgusted. "Now that you have eaten your Devil Fruits, you are ready to head out into the world of 'One Piece'! Now, go into the machines! Now, you will be turned into anime characters, and transported to your respective areas in one easy step with these new models! Now, isn't that great?"

Bed and I were carried off to a machine and placed inside. The person who carried us in shut the high-tech looking door. I could hear various buttons being pressed, and then a weird feeling of flatness enveloped my body. But it stopped almost immediately. I looked down. My arms and legs were all anime looking, but the rest of me looked just as realistic as ever. Before I could register anything else though, I felt the atoms in my body disperse, and then nothing.

* * *

**Yes, so I didn't add what the Devil Fruit is yet, not enough votes. But once I do get enough, you all will figure out what it is! Check out the list on the previous chapter for options~**

**Also, about the water-based Devil Fruits, they are not immune to the normal effects of water or seastone! So if someone ate the Fish-Fish Fruit, they still couldn't swim, and would feel weak under water. But like a fish, they need water to survive, so they can't breathe above water either. **

**Oh, and I guess I'll tell you what everyone else got, since they are highly unlikely to appear agin for a long while XD.**

**Red-Haired: Find-Find Fruit (Paramecia: User gains the ability to find whatever they want, even intangible things, like secrets or weaknesses) **

**Blonde-Haired: Psy-Psy Fruit (Logia: User turns into psychic energy, and can manipulate it in others) **

**Black-Haired: Mecha-Mecha Fruit (Paramecia: User can turn into a mecha, as well as turn others into mechas)**

**Yes, I know they are all over-powered. That's the point. Sorry for the long AN though~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for not updating for so long!**

**Disclaimer: One Piece is not mine, and never will be~**

* * *

Remember: Don't try teleporting at home, especially if you have a cold. I found that out the hard way, though I wasn't actually at home.

The pain came about rather quickly, enveloping my body in achy-soreness. It was quite achy, and very sore. Coughs racked my body, sending saliva, mucus, and various other substances out of my mouth and nose. You know, I really hoped I got the Clean-Clean Fruit after that incident considering how much gunk was plastered on my pillow after that.

But any who, after a painful, messy search of my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit (which was still with me, curiously enough, though it had become anime styled), I found some aspirin and water and swallowed them down, hoping for some kind of relief. Which came shortly afterwards, but I still felt nauseous.

* * *

I looked around, taking in my surroundings. As far as I could tell, I was on some kind of farm, considering the stereotypical barn house a short walk away. I slumped my shoulders. No Straw Hats then? I curled up on the other end of my bed, away from the snot pile. Maybe this was they're next destination…?

I decided to take inventory and make sure that I wasn't dying or anything. The first thing was to check myself over, making sure I hadn't lost any body parts on the way over here. Turns out that I did. All the toes on my left foot were missing, as well as my left thumb. Thankfully, I found them. My thumb happened to be sitting on the tip of my nose, and my toes were stuck to the side of my neck in an even row. I wonder why I didn't notice that earlier, maybe because the rest of me was hurting like _heck_. Plus, both my arms and my legs had been the only things anime styled on my body, so I had an anime thumb and toes sticking out my otherwise realistic head and neck.

I honestly wasn't sure how I had ended up only partially anime styled. My fall-into-a-fictional-world-kit as well as my iPad were anime styled, but my bed and most of me were still realistic as ever. I got the answer soon enough via forehead hologram.

"_Didn't those darn Self-Inserts know that you're not to transport humans and beds together?! The beds give off anti-anime waves!"_

Wait, what?

"_Sentient beds give off electromagnetic wavelengths that disrupt the realistic to anime system we put in place! Though it seems to have taken effect late, considering the fact that only half of you is still realistic. I could send you back to get re-done…"_

I shook my head. Never going through that crap again if I could help it.

"_Fine, whatever you want 'master'. But I'm going to scold them guys on the island, that's for sure."_

The forehead hologram flickered out of existence. The metal bit in my forehead was warm, kinda like if you used your computer too much. I sighed, then dug through my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit for some snacks. It was awfully awkward with only one thumb. I'd probably get used to it eventually, though, but it would be nice to still have one on each hand.

I pulled out a snack and started to munch on it. It didn't taste as filling and tasty all anime styled. It was almost like eating chip flavored paper. I prodded my nose-thumb with one finger in thought. Hopefully not everything I ate would be like that. I emptied the bag, and stuffed it back into my fall-into-a-fictional-world kit, so to not litter.

I decided to get off my bed and check out the world for once. No one seemed to be around, so it was safe enough to go around on my own. But as I climbed off my bed, I felt myself being pulled back towards it. Weird. I struggled against the pull for a while, finally freeing myself soon after. But as I walked to the barn, my bed was pulled along behind me. It was awfully heavy, causing my movements to be sluggish and difficult. Nothing I did got rid of it. At least the bed was giving my some kind of leeway, as if it wasn't, I probably wouldn't be able to budge.

* * *

It took me twenty minutes to get into the barn, which was empty except for a few animals behind tall fences that I couldn't see over. There was also a box that read "Chocolate" on the front. It was in Grandlinese, but I could read it. Probably because of that device Now-man had put on my head. I opened the lid, and tried to smell it, to see if it was really chocolate. Unfortunately, my sense of smell was completely gone. I did catch a faint whiff of chocolate on my tongue, but it might've been my imagination…

I picked up one of the round pieces and plopped in my mouth. It just tasted like flat sweetness, but then again, your sense of taste is heavily influenced by your smell, and I couldn't smell a thing. I swallowed, and ate another one. These chocolates made me feel all giddy. They must've been stuffed full of sugar, cause I was already extremely sugar high. Let's just hope they didn't give me diabetes.

I saw a note under the third or fourth piece, and I picked it up, giggling with sugar-induced hyper-activeness. I took me a while to read under highly distracted eyes, but eventually, I finished it. I popped another chocolate into my mouth, chewed, swallowed, then began comprehending what it meant.

"Thanks for falling for it.

-Mr. Moose"

Shit. Though my sugar-racked brain did not respond correctly, instead opting to roll on the hay covered floor while giggling maniacally. I smushed my nose-thumb under the rest of my face, but didn't register the pain. I then shot up, screamed, hit my head, and blacked out.

* * *

_~Finally, Third Person~_

A tremor shook the room, leaving the poor fainted self-inset lodged under a food trough, looking quite odd. The box of "chocolates" fell onto the floor, nutrition facts facing up. It read "Ingredients: Moose Droppings, Sugar, High-Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Cane Sugar, Dihydrogen Monoxide, Partially Hydrogenated Soy Bean Oil, Cocoa."

Who left that box there will never be known except by the moose hidden behind their fences. We will only know that whoever it was, wanted to have some fun torturing the accursed self-insert kind.

* * *

**Well, you're all probably getting tired of the Devil Fruit stuff, but I came up with a good idea and I will be using that unless you really want me to use something else ;). Oh, and the Straw Hats will finally appear next chapter, so watch out for that!**


End file.
